Lost In Time - Mirage - Routine (part of the chapter)

"Lost In Time - mirage" Routine (part of chapter 20)

     I woke up in my bed alone. Ethan was not there, and I wasn't wrapped in his arms anymore.

     Mom's voice penetrated my sweet sleep, and woke me. It was time to get ready for school, but I couldn't bring myself to get out of bed.

     A single moment of understanding can flood a whole life with meaning.

     Nothing was the same as of that day. Every time I woke up, the first thing I did was walk to the window of my room and check up on our back yard. Just to make sure it was still there.

     Only then could I really appreciate the little things I had in my life: like the purple flowers in the back yard, and the red Geranium that hung in its hanger on the deck. Like Dad's favorite trees on the left side of the back yard, and the blue bird that came for a short visit in the mornings when it was time to wake up.

     Even Mom's voice became bearable, and I didn't hush her as often as before.

     Ethan didn't come back, and I knew none of the future events were preventable if we were to stay together. Though I had a slight hope that one day he would come back and describe a different world than the one I had seen in the future.

     I never asked Jason to stay, but I also didn't ask him to leave. I hadn't seen him for weeks, and didn't try to contact him.

     Voorhees Eastern High School became a place I learned to enjoy hanging out in. Even literature classes were more interesting than before, and I think that Mr. Adelson began to like me.

     Suddenly, Voorhees wasn't as boring as it seemed, and I was thankful for the “horrible” routine I was born into.

     I liked the smell of the trees by the lakes. I liked the quiet in the morning and in the afternoons. I liked to stare at my back yard for hours, and let myself be overwhelmed by the dark green that surrounded me.

     I was happy with what I had, and for the first time I could admit that I didn't wish to be swept off my feet, and be saved from the boredom of Voorhees. The tedium of Voorhees became a comfort not only to me, but to everyone else around me.

     It was a relief to wake up in the mornings and think about the simple things in life; like what should I wear, and how should I fix my hair before going to school. What movie should I watch on TV, and what kind of dish I'd like Mom to cook for Friday dinner. Everything became simple and easy, and I no longer felt threatened by it. Simplicity brought a great comfort to my life.

     I saw friends more often. The time I spent without Ethan and Jason was also dedicated to heal the rifts created between Natasha and me. And as always our friendship was stronger than anything else. Natasha never mentioned Jason's name again, and I never brought it up. It was a silence that kept him away from my life, and the possibility of his existence in Natasha's life.